A rather attractive horse!

A 66-year-old man, named as Joseph Squires of Leicester appeared in court this week accused of having sex with a horse and a donkey.

He was charged with buggery of the horse between March 15-18 and buggery with the donkey between February 2-5 of 1999.

The pensioner was due to stand trial of the crimes but pleaded guilty to both counts and two further charges of property damage relating to the animals.

On a request that the man be given bail, his defence counsel said that Squires had no previous convictions and was of previous good character. He added;

“The defendant does not have a stable address although he says his daughter can provide an address.”

The judge refused the application for bail and remanded Squires in custody until he is sentenced on May 24.

Apparently, a stunned Security Guard caught the man in the middle of a compromising act with the smiling faced Henry Hoover which has a hose protruding from its ‘nose’. The guard told him to “clean himself and the hoover” before kicking him out of the building.

The Polish builder supposedly told his bosses that its “a common practice in Poland.”

An insider of the hospital said “The guard who found him said he was groaning louder than the hoover.”

H G Construction, based in Hitchen, Herts, said “That behaviour in not acceptable, though it gave a few people a laugh.

The 32 year old comic, Russell Brand had previously admitted to a session with a vacuum cleaner when he was 14 years old. He said “I saw Henry sat there, he was looking at me. Now whenever I hear that name, I have a guilty little smile.”

He is rather a nice looking little fellow though, I can see the attraction!

The event takes place in late September and early October and last for nine days with the Chinese belief that if one abstains from meat and various other stimulants during the ninth month of the lunar calendar they will enjoy good health and bliss.

Not really sure how the video below fits into these beliefs, but each to their own!

Inflatable

Adult shops in Cairns, Australia, has been broken into several times by a burglar who has developed a passion for a blow-up doll named Jungle Jane.

Business owners believe that the break-ins are all by the same person who takes the dolls out the back, blows them up and has sex with them before discarding them in the alley.

The best part of the report in The Cairns Post, their words not mine said,

“His method of entry is to smash through walls and squeeze through tight holes.”

The owner of one of the shops, who had not reported the first incident at his new premises, said that five dolls had been stolen and that the burglar had had sex with one of them.

The owner had also mentioned that the burglar had also developed the habit of cleaning up the mess he had made entering the stores.

It seems however that the burglar may have to give up his one-night-stands after leaving his DNA and fingerprints on his vinyl lover.

No Smoking

A 46-year-old man from Guernsey has been sentenced to three years in prison for having sex with a horse, not once but twice.

On two separate occasions, the man broke into the stables and performed sex acts on the 20-year-old horse.  Well at least it was of legal age I suppose!

For his first visit to the bay gelding, he used a bucket to stand behind the horse and was caught after his underwear was found in the stable and he was given a three-year probation order.

Only months later, he returned to the same stables but this time left a mounting stool (is that a special stool for mounting horses?) in the stable.

The man was immediately suspected and told the court,

“I had a few beers, I went to the stable and interfered with the horse.”

I have kept the identity of the horse out of the report for it’s own protection but surely it’s obvious that you put the bucket back and collect your underwear before you leave!

Gypsy is 49-years-old, and amuses visitors to her home by cleaning the windows, doing a bit of gardening and generally doing what any good cleaner would do.

It is thought she has been copying the zoo’s cleaners and waits for her bucket of clean water to be delivered so she can get on with the job in hand.

To bag yourself one of these miniature art pieces, it will set you back between $200 – $600 depending on your chosen design, and can also be shipped to you to be fitted by your own dentist.

Steve Heward the lab’s owner and chief artist had this to say.
‘ I studied as a portrait painter at the university of Utah in the 1970’s.’ Steve explained. ‘ When i started working at a dental lab as head ceramist, I wanted show the dentists and the patients what i was capable of creating on their crowns.’

Steve creates these mini masterpieces by using ceramic stain and a one haired brush to paint the unique designs on to the crowns, resulting in an amazing finished product, I think you will agree.

Even Steves daughter has one, and his youngest son now has three in his mouth! The good news is that they can easily be removed with just a little grinding with a rubber wheel.

If you want to get your hands on one of these or just want to see some examples of tooth tattooing then go to www.toothartist.com

The artist previously showed his talents at adult fairs but is now looking up-market and has entered the nude of himself, wearing just a hat and holding a canvas, for the famous Archibald Prize.

He admitted to the Sydney Morning Herald “I had to use my bum to paint in the background, because you have to have the occasional break”

Rather a nice looking goat! 

It was claimed today, that a farmer in Bulgaria has exchanged his wife Elena, for a goat because she could not provide him with children.

Stoil Panayotov, had been married twice before and Elena was his third wife who has now been swapped for an eight-year-old goat.

The exchange was said to have taken place at a livestock market in March in front of a stunned crowd in the market town of Plovdiv, central Bulgaria.

The 54-year-old farmer said “The day before a friend told me that he has no luck with women and that he really liked my wife. The deal was reached when my wife gave her approval. The goat has given birth to three kids and my wife to none. So this deal was more profitable to the goat owner, I got a second-hand goat and he got a brand new wife.” Seems like a fair swap!

Last year, it was reported that a Sudanese man was forced to marry a goat after he was caught having sex with it.

The goat’s owner, went to the local elders in the South Sedan capital, Juda, who forced Mr Tombe to pay a dowry of 15,000 Sudanese dinars to the goat’s owner and the man had to wed her as part of the punishment.

The idea was to embarrass the man who claimed to be drunk at the time but has since refused to comment on the incident.

However, a couple of months later his goat-wife died after choking on a plastic bag, but fortunately the goat had already given birth to a kid although not a human one!